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Learn From Past Relationships

In the past, I thought it was your partners resposibility to make you happy. But after two failed marriages, I decided to change my way of thinking.  I promised myself my next relationship had to be different to last. For many years I have lived with the mindset of living each day as if it was going to be my last. I decided to carry that mindset over into my next relationship.

Tony Robbins is a personal friend of mine,  and he taught me that when my partners needs truly became my needs, I would have a tier one relationship. Having that type of relationship was something I never had before. Tony instructed me to make a detailed list of everything I was looking for in my future partner. One of the things I put on my list was I wanted a beautiful woman who could walk a red carpet with me and look totally stunning,  and still be just as beautiful in sweats and a tee shirt while lounging around the house.  I actually used the words “beauty queen” when I described her on my list.

I met a girl at my show in 2017 who was wearing a beauty pageant sash. I thought she was an authentic beauty queen. Soon after meeting we started dating and eventually I fell in love with her. I showed her as much love as I could, as if each day may be my last day loving her. After 8 months of dating, she told me she felt as if she won the lottery when she met me. She told her best friend if we broke up, she would never be able to find another man who treated her like I did. Hearing words like that made me realize I was finally doing something right and I may be in a tier one relationship. Unfortunately it was only a one sided, tier one relationship.

She was clearly not ready to be in a committed relationship with me, no matter how much I loved her or how special I treated her. I told her I felt I was wasting my time loving her, since I was not receiving the same love in return from her, so I broke up with her.

A month after I broke up with her, I realized I was wrong. The failed relationship wasn’t a waste of my time. I realized it was a good learning experience for me. I learned that a woman could wear nice cloths and lots of make-up to make herself look beautiful. But it’s a woman heart and personality that truly makes her beautiful. A person can create outer beauty, but a person can not fake inner beauty.

This relationship experience caused me to updated the list Tony Robbins instructed me to construct. I learned how the beauty pageant system works, and that crowns, titles and sashes could be purchased, and did not need to be earned. I am no longer looking for a “beauty queen” who looks great on the outside with a sash and title.  I now want my next partner’s inner beauty to be as beautiful as her outer beauty. So I am honored my last relationship came into my life. Not only did we have some good times together,  she taught me an invaluable life lesson when it came to understanding true beauty.

LESSON LEARNED: You do not need to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in a failed relationship. But you are responsible for how you learn and grow from it.

Think Positive Thoughts

I have been performing mentalism for over 30 years, and I have learned two important things. The first is that no matter what your race, political beliefs or your religious preference, when it comes to our minds, we are all the same. 

And second, I have also learned that being an optimist, and filling your mind with positive thoughts can increase the quality of your life. Purging your mind of negative thoughts is healthy for your well being.

And to help spread that message, during my show I recently started giving random audience members a silicone bracelet that says “Change Your Life By Thinking Positive Thoughts.”  Hopefully when they wear it, it will be a friendly reminder to always look on the bright side of life.

Embrace The Yellow

Childhood traumas inflicted on me cause me to build a wall around my heart. I thought if I kept people out, I would never allow anyone to get close enough to hurt me again. It was a defense mechanism that served me well for the rest of my teenage years.

The problem occurred when I finally grew up and became a man. My heart became so comfortable hiding behind the wall, that I never opened it up to receive real love. I never truly let anyone in, not even my two ex-wifes.

It wasn’t until recently, while attending a Tony Robbins personal development seminar, that I realized the little boy inside me finally grew up. I was no longer that young boy who needed that kind of emotional protection anymore. I realized if I took down the wall, and accepted someones love, I would have the ability to recover if that love was stopped or taken away. After making that enlightening discovery, I decided to give my heart to another, and I discovered the yellow!

I learned that being in a loving, comitted relationship caused changes to my individuality and my independence. Before being in a relationship, I was like the male symbol, and my soon to be partner was like the female symbol. Consider the white center of the symbols our individual lives. We were two separate people, two separate individuals, enjoying two separate lives.

After committing to the relationship, our lives slowly started to merge together. I lost some of my white, individual life, but in return I was blessed with a brand new yellow life with the person I was in the relationship with. The yellow life is something I could not have had without letting the other person into my life and into my heart.

My first real relationship without the wall was beautiful. I learned a lot of lessons from it, some good and some not so good. But I am proud to announce the wall around my heart no longer exists. I am now open to receiving love from future relationships.

Giving Has A Ripple Effect

At 10:05 PM on Sunday October 1, 2017, the news of the shooting massacre in Las Vegas rocked the world.  The day after the shooting, quite a few of the shows in Las Vegas closed, for many different reasons. I was informed that my show was not going to close, and I was required to show up and perform, despite the tragedy that just unfolded in our city the day before.

I really wanted to help the victims of the shooting, so I announced on social media that I was donating the proceeds from Monday’s after show souvenir sales, and part of Monday’s ticket sales to the GoFundMe page set up to help the victims families of the shooting.

After I made the donation, I posted a screen shot from GoFundMe showing I made my contribution, in hopes of encouraging others to contribute as well. Soon after I received a private message on Facebook from my dear friend Marianne. 

She wrote:

Good morning Gerry, I am glad you and your family are safe given the craziness your city has had. I just wanted to share a little story with you. As you know I work with people with developmental and cognitive disabilities. Well the client I worked with last night was feeling sad about all of it and so she would not obsess about it I brought up some good stories of people coming together to help. One story was about you donating the proceeds of your show. She was intrigued by that and I offered to show her some videos of you performing. Can I just say, in her words, You blew her mind! At first I thought maybe she wouldn’t understand all of it however she did. She just loved you! In fact she talked about you all night even when I took her to a social group she was telling them about you! Well you certainly took her mind off the sad stories which I feared she was beginning to focus on too much and could trigger her anxiety issues. I just wanted to share with you, You have a new fan!!!!. Be well my friend!

I asked her permission to share her message with everyone. I love helping others with my skills and abilities, and to see how small acts of kindness and love could have a ripple effect is heart warming. Do yourself a favor, and give some thought how you can selflessly touch someones life today. Then sit back and watch how your love can spread, like the big ripples in a calm lake, after you tossed a small pebble into it.

Share Your Knowledge

I have always been a follower of Tony Robbins, and I have attended many of his seminars over the years. I love watching Tony share his knowledge and wisdom. Learning is very rewarding and a way of growing, but sharing what you learned to help others grow can also be very rewarding.

I decided it was time to share my 30+ years of knowledge and wisdom with other performers. Someone asked me why would I create my own competition? I do not see it that way. If a person sees a bad mentalist performance, unfortunately it reflects on all mentalists. I want to help performers become better performers.

I have decided I am going to write my second book that will teache performers various parts of my show that I have honed and perfected over the years.

I am also going to tape an on-line lecture so performers can download it and watch it around the world. They will be able to watch and learn from my years of experience.

I am also going to personally lecture at magic groups and conventions when my schedule permits.

If you are an expert in your field, or if you have years of knowledge and experience, consider sharing your knowledge. The feeling of helping others will be well worth the investment of your time.

Thanks Tony Robbins, for being such a good role model and mentor.