Childhood traumas inflicted on me cause me to build a wall around my heart. I thought if I kept people out, I would never allow anyone to get close enough to hurt me again. It was a defense mechanism that served me well for the rest of my teenage years.
The problem occurred when I finally grew up and became a man. My heart became so comfortable hiding behind the wall, that I never opened it up to receive real love. I never truly let anyone in, not even my two ex-wifes.
It wasn’t until recently, while attending a Tony Robbins personal development seminar, that I realized the little boy inside me finally grew up. I was no longer that young boy who needed that kind of emotional protection anymore. I realized if I took down the wall, and accepted someones love, I would have the ability to recover if that love was stopped or taken away. After making that enlightening discovery, I decided to give my heart to another, and I discovered the yellow!
I learned that being in a loving, comitted relationship caused changes to my individuality and my independence. Before being in a relationship, I was like the male symbol, and my soon to be partner was like the female symbol. Consider the white center of the symbols our individual lives. We were two separate people, two separate individuals, enjoying two separate lives.
After committing to the relationship, our lives slowly started to merge together. I lost some of my white, individual life, but in return I was blessed with a brand new yellow life with the person I was in the relationship with. The yellow life is something I could not have had without letting the other person into my life and into my heart.
My first real relationship without the wall was beautiful. I learned a lot of lessons from it, some good and some not so good. But I am proud to announce the wall around my heart no longer exists. I am now open to receiving love from future relationships.