In the past, I thought it was your partners resposibility to make you happy. But after two failed marriages, I decided to change my way of thinking. I promised myself my next relationship had to be different to last. For many years I have lived with the mindset of living each day as if it was going to be my last. I decided to carry that mindset over into my next relationship.
Tony Robbins is a personal friend of mine, and he taught me that when my partners needs truly became my needs, I would have a tier one relationship. Having that type of relationship was something I never had before. Tony instructed me to make a detailed list of everything I was looking for in my future partner. One of the things I put on my list was I wanted a beautiful woman who could walk a red carpet with me and look totally stunning, and still be just as beautiful in sweats and a tee shirt while lounging around the house. I actually used the words “beauty queen” when I described her on my list.
I met a girl at my show in 2017 who was wearing a beauty pageant sash. I thought she was an authentic beauty queen. Soon after meeting we started dating and eventually I fell in love with her. I showed her as much love as I could, as if each day may be my last day loving her. After 8 months of dating, she told me she felt as if she won the lottery when she met me. She told her best friend if we broke up, she would never be able to find another man who treated her like I did. Hearing words like that made me realize I was finally doing something right and I may be in a tier one relationship. Unfortunately it was only a one sided, tier one relationship.
She was clearly not ready to be in a committed relationship with me, no matter how much I loved her or how special I treated her. I told her I felt I was wasting my time loving her, since I was not receiving the same love in return from her, so I broke up with her.
A month after I broke up with her, I realized I was wrong. The failed relationship wasn’t a waste of my time. I realized it was a good learning experience for me. I learned that a woman could wear nice cloths and lots of make-up to make herself look beautiful. But it’s a woman heart and personality that truly makes her beautiful. A person can create outer beauty, but a person can not fake inner beauty.
This relationship experience caused me to updated the list Tony Robbins instructed me to construct. I learned how the beauty pageant system works, and that crowns, titles and sashes could be purchased, and did not need to be earned. I am no longer looking for a “beauty queen” who looks great on the outside with a sash and title. I now want my next partner’s inner beauty to be as beautiful as her outer beauty. So I am honored my last relationship came into my life. Not only did we have some good times together, she taught me an invaluable life lesson when it came to understanding true beauty.
LESSON LEARNED: You do not need to take responsibility for everything that went wrong in a failed relationship. But you are responsible for how you learn and grow from it.